Only cool teachers sign the shoe

So today I had a kid ask me to sign his shoe. I think this is a good thing. It must mean he doesn't hate me or my class or the fact that I'm making them read Romeo and Juliet and actually figuring it out for themselves. These things are plusses. However, why can't you show me you like me and my class by, oh, I don't know, turning in your homework and shutting up when your classmates are talking? Why don't we start there?
I mean, it's not that hard to be the 'cool' teacher here. I'm younger than all the other teachers by a lot. I'm younger than some of the other teachers' kids. So that automatically makes me cool. I know the words to some of the songs they listen to in yearbook class. Cool points. I have a couch in my room. Mucho cool points. I let them build 8 foot castles as visual aids and one day we made TP tornadoes with the ceiling fans. I'd want to be in my class!
It's nice to be cool and all, but, especially with the seniors (who claim it's senioritis--come on we've been in school 6 weeks!), I'd much rather prefer to be respected.
Not that they don't respect me, because they do. They're good kids, I just am a lot more lenient than some other teachers, so they sometimes think that means I'm a pushover. Whatever. I just choose to pick my battles.
I have no desire to befriend 17 year olds. I honestly don't care if you like me and think I'm cool. If you do, that'll probably make your life easier this year, if not, tough. I'm the only English teacher at this school. Deal. I care if you learn what I'm trying to teach you. I wasn't that cool when I was in high school, I sure don't care about being cool to high schoolers at 25! Plus, I prefer my friends to be at least of legal drinking age.
So quit asking me to sign your shoe and telling me I'm cool and show me how cool I am by paying attention and getting As on your assignments. I like you a lot better when you get all the answers right-- it takes a lot less time to grade your papers that way. And that makes me happy.
And it's all about making me happy. Because I'm the boss, applesauce!